If At First You Don't Succeed, Change Your Perspective

A young boy walks toward a community baseball field. He drags his bat along a fence as he approaches home plate. He drops his bucket of baseballs, chooses one and yells, "I am the greatest hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, grabs the bat with both hands and swings. He misses. As he bends over to pick up the ball, he quietly says to himself, "Strike one."

He is not discouraged. He picks the ball up and again proclaims, "I am the greatest hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, grabs the bat with both hands and swings. Again, he misses. As he bends over to pick up the ball, he quietly says to himself, "Strike two."

He picks up the ball, looks at his bat, adjusts his cap, and prepares for his third attempt. He yells, "I am the greatest hitter... IN THE WORLD!" The scene moves to slow motion as the ball flies into the air. He presses his lips together in determination. The ball descends. He swings a full swing with complete follow through.

But something unexpected happens, he misses... again. He quietly announces the stats of his own game, "Strike three."

I was stunned. Why? It's simple. I do not like unhappy endings. This one caught me completely off guard. No one really needs to be reminded about disappointment. "What kind of commercial is this," I thought. I sunk back in the couch, and watched the screen. Then, something else completely unexpected happened.

The little boy thought for a moment, raised his cap, smiled, and yelled "Wow... I'm the greatest PITCHER in the world!" He jumped in the air in celebration. Before his feet hit the ground, four words appeared on the screen: Optimism - Pass It On.

I will never forget this commercial. Disappointment happens, but perspective determines the outcome. Are you able to reframe your disappointment into opportunity? Can you find a positive in a negative?

If life has taken a recent detour, can you find opportunity on your new path? Think about it. The situation may seem difficult. Could an optimistic perspective influence the ultimate outcome of that situation? Remember the little boy on the baseball field and keep moving forward.

Interested in seeing the commercial I saw? Go to www.youtube.com and enter Optimism: The Baseball Kid

Do You "C" or Do You See?

I ran into someone recently I would like to tell you about. The day I saw her, she was styled like a woman headed for a cosmopolitan lunch on the town, cute jeans with an equally adorable top. As attractive as the outfit was, that was not what caught my attention. There was something else. Her ensemble was accented by the most remarkable accessory. It was inexpensive, yet priceless. It was intangible, yet striking. She wore a countenance that exuded complete optimism. Her smile was infectious. Her mood, upbeat. Her demeanor was as bright as the midday sun. The gleam of her presence stopped me in my tracks.

"Well look at you!" I remarked. "Are you going out for the day?" I knew where she was going, she knew I knew where she was going. But she replied as if I had made a blind inquiry. "Yes I am, and don't I look GOOD?!" We burst into laughter. It was the type of laugh that encompassed an inaudible exhale. Everything was going well.

I decided to confirm a previous agreement, just to be sure. "I'm still planning to write about you in my next article, are you okay with that?" "Absolutely!" She replied without hesitation. "I'm looking forward to it! There's SO much to look forward to!" She told me about other activities she was anticipating. I shook my head in amazement. I could have talked longer, but she was dressed for her destination, and I did not want to compromise the impact of her entrance with a delay. She bid me farewell, "I'd love to talk more, but I have to go. I'm off for some "Radiance!" I'll see you later." She walked away as cheerfully as she spoke. The bounce in her step reminded me of a child jumping through rain puddles.

I was so inspired by her spirit. She was making plans, plans to work on a novel, plans to vacation abroad, and plans to see life past the Big "C". In the midst of a diagnosis that would cause most to "C" the world through a lens of malignancy and misery, she planned to see herself writing and vacationing. The result, an attitude that has danced through the puddles of radiation and turned them into "radiance!"

In 1912 Christian Larson published The Optimist Creed. "Promise Yourself...To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet...To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best...To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet...To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble."

Another writer, Solomon, wrote it even more succinctly sometime around 900 BC. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

To the reader, I do not know what you are going through, what difficulty you may be facing, but take it from my puddle jumping aunt. There is INDEED so much to look forward to. Even if a tumorous situation is trying to steal your vitality, you can "C" malignancy or you can see possibility. Any moment past this very second is a future worth anticipating. Go ahead, hope. Go ahead, plan. If my aunt can do so in the midst of what the medical professionals "C", can you see the future that is waiting for you?

Still not convinced? Let me try one more statement. Some attribute it to Vivian Greene, others say it is anonymous. It goes like this: "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It is about dancing in the rain."

Why not grab your best outfit, accessorize it with a smile, and dance through a puddle with my Aunt Ileana!

Your Pursuit Is My Passion,


Tonya

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It's Time for a New Street!

My children love to ride their bikes. My four-year-old daughter rides well on her small pink bike, complete with flowered white basket, colorful tassels, and training wheels. Navigating the cul-de-sac in front of our house is a challenge for her. She is still learning how to turn at just the right angle, how to use her brakes, and how to transition from the street to the sidewalk.

My six-year-old son has conquered those challenges. He gave up training wheels a long time ago. He speeds by his sister on his blue two-wheeler, lapping her as they both make their way around the court. He jumps off curbs, rides down the neighbors' driveways, and even tries to ride with no hands.

I have set specific boundaries for the children to ride within. They are allowed to ride around the cul-de-sac and on the short road leading up to that circle. Recently, my son came to me with a bold declaration. "Mom, I'm ready for a new street." I chuckled at his statement and told him I would look into it. He repeated his statement again, "Mom, I'm serious, I'm ready for a new street."

It was a simple phrase with profound meaning. He wanted me to know he was ready for a new challenge. He was still riding his bike on the same street he started on as a beginner. While I was chatting with the neighbors, I had missed my son's readiness for something new. No wonder he had traded his bike for a scooter. Riding the bike within the parameters I had giving him was no longer exciting. As a result, he was losing interest in an activity he used to love.

Have you lost interest in activities you once found exciting? Bored around the job or around the house? It could be that you have grown in your personal or professional life, but have not found an outlet for that growth. Is it time for a new job or new leadership role? What about a new volunteer opportunity? More friends? A new hobby? Break free from the self imposed parameters of the familiar. Do so, and you may find the outlet you need.

Feeling dissatisfied with the life you used to love? You may not really be losing interest in that life. You might just be ready for a new street!

Book Signings, Book Signings!!!

We had a successful event yesterday at Eccentrics The Spa Sanctuary. Did you miss it? We will be back there this Saturday, June 20th from 11 am - 2 pm. (1215 Annapolis Road, Odenton, MD, Rt 175 next to BBT, across from Perry's) I would love to meet you and sign your copy of "From Crisis to Purpose." Have a copy already? So many of you have said you have a friend who would enjoy the story. Feel free to stop by and pick up a copy for them!

Future book signings are being scheduled, including Barnes & Noble Bowie Town Center, and Barnes & Noble Downtown Baltimore at the Inner Harbor. Sign up for the enewsletter on the website, www.tonyadorsey.com to receive event notification.

Finally!

You have a goal. You announce it. You make a declaration. Then, the clock ticks. Days become weeks, weeks become months, and suddenly you realize years have gone by. What are you waiting for?

Is the predictable chaos of your present life better than the uncertainty of a new beginning? Are you waiting for something to happen, for someone to be born, to die, to leave, to come home, to grow up, to change? Are you too scared to ask for help? Does your vision outweigh your resources? Do you wonder how people will react? Are you scared to fail? Are you scared to succeed? Do you exist in a purgatory of accomplishment, where almosts and what ifs overshadow potential and possibility?

I have two words for you. I understand. I really do. I have always wanted to write a book. What held me back? Simple. I had no idea how to do it. I did not know if it was the right time. I thought life should be calmer. I thought the kids should be older. I had no idea who to approach for help. I did not know how I would finance the project. I did not know how people would respond to the content. Years went by. Then it happened. I don't know if it was courage or desperation, but one day I decided enough was enough. I pulled out my half-written manuscript, sat down on my couch, and picked up my laptop. Though my concerns were real, the only thing really holding me back was a decision. A decision to start. When I started, I realized the doing was much harder than the declaring. I liked saying that I was writing a book more than I actually liked writing it. The sound of the endeavor was honorable; the process was tedious. My core issue: Action! I'm sure you can relate.

Of course there is more to it, but the bottom line is this. I did not have all the answers when I started. I started and the answers came. I faced the fears, the concerns, the questions, the doubt, and finally, I have a finished product. It is entitled, "From Crisis to Purpose: A Mother's Memoir." You can log on to my website, www.tonyadorsey.com to order a copy. I would welcome the opportunity to share my story with you.

The feedback has been amazing. It will touch those who have experienced unexpected loss on the way to building a family. It will also touch those who have been through any crisis, who need to find the courage to embrace your story. It is the foundation of my passion for pursuit and perseverance, the basis for every article, every coaching session, and every keynote address. It is fundamentally who I am. And it is here, finally.

What are you finally ready to accomplish?

Your Pursuit Is My Passion,

Tonya

Feedback is STRONG!

"From Crisis to Purpose: A Mother's Memoir," has been released and the response is strong. Here are a few excerpts from feedback I have received this week:

"Thanks for such an honest approach to healing while remembering"
"I was so very blessed by your book which I devoured in one reading session late last night."
"I know so many moms & families who will benefit from reading your story."
"I cried with you and rejoiced with you reading your story. I also was able to be educated on how to understand better what is going on with loved ones who have experienced a loss."

It is my desire for this book to find it's way to any one who has experienced unexpected loss, particularly those who are building or expanding a family. If you know of anyone who would benefit from reading an honest candid account of hope, sorrow, grief, survival, determination, resilience, and resolve, please recommend "From Crisis to Purpose" available now on www.tonyadorsey.com

After A Long Hiatus

After several months of hiatus, I am back! Many of you know that I have spent the last few months working on my first book. Well, I am proud to say that my first book, "From Crisis to Purpose: A Mother's Memoir" is here! I am in Cleveland, Ohio this weekend, and will have the opportunity to share my story with Journey Community Church, which is pastored by my good friends Jim and Jennifer Wilkes. I will be speaking to the women's ministry on Saturday morning, and to the entire congregation on Sunday morning.

My first shipment of books arrived in time to share with this congregation, much to my surprise! My website support is steadily working to make the books available on my website. There is so much to share with you about this project, about my story, and how it all came to pass. I will be sharing more in my next newsletter, which should also be out very soon. So, stay tuned Optimum Living family! More information is on the way very soon....

Your Pursuit is Still My Passion,

Tonya